What if I told you I don't need your approval to live my life?

Look, I get it—body positivity is meant to be uplifting. Love yourself! Embrace your curves! Everybody is beautiful! But you know what? Sometimes, it’s just plain annoying, especially when you’re trying to lose weight for reasons that have nothing to do with beauty.

My family has always had a complicated relationship with food. Both my parents come from a long line of enthusiastic eaters. My sister was once pre-diabetic, and I’ve had my own battles with weight. And while I love my body (and always have), I also love not developing sleep apnea.

My sister, who has lost 100 pounds, once put it perfectly:

“Stop telling me I’m beautiful; it has nothing to do with why I want to lose weight.”

She orders a salad, and suddenly, it’s a full-blown intervention.

“You don’t have to do that, you’re beautiful just the way you are!” her friends insist, as if she was about to do something drastic like shave her head or join a cult.

Meanwhile, she just wants to eat a salad in peace.

The Struggle of Being ‘The Big Guy’

Being a larger guy comes with its own set of weird expectations. People assume you’re always down to eat. Someone made too much food? Just hand it over to me. Need a partner in crime for late-night junk food runs? Call me up.

But when I say I’m watching my weight, people act like I’ve joined a doomsday prepper group.

“You have to eat, man,” my friend once told me, deeply concerned, as if I was on the brink of starvation.

Buddy, trust me, I have never missed a meal in my life.

And then there’s the awkward moment when you have to say “no” a lot.

“No, I don’t want seconds.”

“No, I don’t need dessert.”

“No, it’s not my responsibility to finish the last slice of pizza.”

It’s exhausting. Why is my plate a group project?

The Weird Psychology of Weight

Here’s the thing: I never actually struggled with body image. My sister says the same thing. We always thought we looked good, which is why it’s so irritating when people assume we need constant reassurance.

It’s like when people go out of their way to say, “Oh, you don’t need to lose weight!”

Cool, thanks, random person, but I’m not trying to get your approval—I’m trying to avoid future medical bills.

Food: The Original Coping Mechanism

Growing up, food was comfort. My mom, overwhelmed with work and life, would take us to McDonald’s or toss some mac and cheese on the stove. My dad, on the other hand, had a fatphobia streak after watching his own father struggle with diabetes.

One day, he looked at me, disgusted, and asked, “Why do you eat so much?”

Sir, because food is delicious. Next question.

Of course, his judgment didn’t help. It only made me sneak food like some kind of carb-loving raccoon. I’d wait until everyone was asleep before making three-layer peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like I was in some underground sandwich cartel.

And then there was school. Getting teased, poked, and lifted by my “titty” like it was some kind of carnival game? Yeah, not fun.

Spoiler alert: Shaming someone for their weight doesn’t magically turn them into a health nut—it just makes them feel like garbage.

Attraction and the Great Dad Bod Mystery

For some reason, society decided that the “dad bod” was attractive. Great for guys like me, but also a little confusing.

Funny enough, when I was at my most unhealthy, I had the best dating success. Why? Who knows. Maybe I gave off a strong “I know the best takeout spots” vibe. But let’s be real, should I base my health on whether or not someone finds me attractive? Probably not.

Can We Just Mind Our Own Plates?

If there’s one lesson here, it’s this: stop assuming you know why someone eats or doesn’t eat something. My partner is underweight and constantly gets comments about being a “picky eater” when, in reality, she just has celiac disease and physically can’t eat certain foods.

So next time you see someone ordering a salad, don’t assume they need a pep talk about their self-worth. Sometimes, a salad is just a salad.

Final Rule: When in doubt, don’t comment on other people’s bodies or eating habits